The Ties That Bind, The Words That Tear, Scars That Will Reopen

In the summer of 1985, I was in Louisville, KY playing in a sandbox by myself under the close watch of my uncle who at the time was in his sixties. Two white kids approached me and started talking to me calling me 'Boy' and asking me what I was doing in 'their' park. I said "Just playing." The moments in between are vague to me, but they said something to the effect of "Niggers weren't allowed in their park" and then they then started to kick and punch me. One of them even spit on me. They called me 'nigger' repeatedly. I will never forget that day. I looked to my uncle through the sand being kicked in my face and he looked on helplessly. I didn't understand why he wouldn't help me.

 When they were done beating me up, I got up crying and they ran off laughing my uncle helped me brush off and I asked him why and he said, "That's the way things are down here. If I had touched one of those boys we would have had a bigger problem on our hands." I didn't understand the difference between black and white. People are people I thought. No one is different and we all bleed the same and die the same way so what is the difference?

Let's go forward to my first grade year (it may have been) in Lunenburg. I got punched in the head by a high school student and called a nigger. Yes, a high school student. I cried from the bus stop all the way home and asked my grandmother why. She said, "Danny, baby it's not what you're called. It's what you answer to. Are you a nigger?" I said "Mom, I don't know."

There were so many examples of that word being thrown around to me in Lunenburg and in fact, not just in Lunenburg to be fair but it's a culture. Racism is taught. You aren't born with 'culture'. Culture is a learned behavior. With all this said... let's move on.

 Unless you have been under a rock for the past 3 weeks, there is a situation brewing in Lunenburg about 13 year old Issac Phillips. Here's the original story.

http://www.sentinelandenterprise.com/breakingnews/ci_24537685/lunenburg-mom-racist-graffiti-aimed-at-her-son

We go from this....

Vigil in Lunenburg Town Center

 

 

To when it is revealed that the last two games will be cancelled...

 

 

You get people posting vile remarks about the family and about people who side with the family.

 

 

 Now here we are.... as it turns out in a strange development. Issac's mother may have done it all along and in fact, may have had help along the way in making this happen and guided police and the FBI towards the football team in a hoax. Some people are cheering for an arrest to be made. Does this solve anything? While I do hope one is made, does it bring the games back? Does it change the facts? If someone else had done it would people still be championing an arrest? If it were a football player would there still be this bloodlust? People forget the independent situation in Worcester.

 

“I remind everyone that an investigation into racial harassment is on-going,” superintendent Loxi Jo Calmes said in a statement on the district’s web site. “A separate investigation concluded that Lunenburg players did in both the varsity and junior varsity games direct racial slurs toward Worcester South players. Referees and our own team members confirmed that fact. That is why the apology was issued by the Athletic Director to the players of Worcester South.” 

 

 Lunenburg as a whole turns a blind eye and looks for the specific. Since no one can name a specific player, it didn't happen. No one cares to address. I do know coaches there and I had one of them as a coach when I played there and I even played semi pro with some. The coaches ARE NOT accountable for what is taught at home. Look at the word 'culture'. It is ongoing and enforceable. Bottom line, I feel if you didn't grow up there or have a child move through the system there... keep your mouth shut. You may 'know' one or two people there or just because you may get the inside hearsay from a few people that don't amount to a thing. There is history there. You don't know it. The media doesn't know it either.

 



 This situation hits home for me. As a mixed heritage person (African-American/Spanish descent and as a Lunenburg alumni) that went through those halls and experienced racism there. From the name calling, the awkward stares when talking about slavery during Black History Month, and the 'Go Back To Africa!' yells when other kids got mad at me. Hell, once in 4th grade a kid got pissed that I got the part as Santa Claus in a school play and said "Santa isn't black!!" The kid made such a stink and guess who got the Santa part in the SAME play next year? He did. Guess who was Rudolph that next year? Yeah.... you guessed it. Me. When I asked why? They said "He knew the lines better." Right.

 Let me address the 'Black people love to cry racism' card. Ok, this is my FAVORITE. That usually comes from people that aren't of color. That is like skinny people telling obese people losing weight is as easy as just getting up from the table. Or to just take the fat jokes with a grain of salt. Or why do overweight people need special accomodations? There's no need for that. Take what everyone else has and deal like everyone else. Obese people act like their special. All those are valid right? Course. If in fact black people are so quick to rock the racism card.

 Second, I'll address the 'Let's make fun of the situation'. First off, you're just a straight up asshole. Yeah, I said it. You're an asshole. I'm not going to even speculate who is involved in the spraying of the house but there are no winners here. A town is divided, people who otherwise don't know about racism have had no choice but to pick a side (and some that have) had to have egg on their face and feel like pawns in a selfish game, and lastly don't know where to turn. It's personal to many that went to school there. We (as I am one of them) feel a loss. There may be a child that may truly be getting bullied for being LGB or a different race and will now be afraid to say a word because they will see the seething hatred that is out for this family ESPECIALLY if they are on a sports team.

 Third, let's address 'Place the blame before the real issue'. We need to look at the larger issue. There is the issue of racism. NOT football. NOT coaches. NOT Senior year, and certain ONE person. There is a legit and real problem in Lunenburg. I'll let the words of Stephen M Flaherty, 20 years old(also a Lunenburg alum a decade after me by the way) speak:

"As horrified as I am to see hateful, racist words spread across the home of one of our own, unfortunately I can't say I'm surprised," Mr. Flaherty said. "Nor would many others who have walked the halls of Lunenburg High School. Because as shocking as it is to see hate speech in bright Lunenburg-blue graffiti, hatred isn't only present when it's out in the open. I've heard the n-word spoken by many of my peers. I've heard 'faggot' shouted down the halls. I've heard the disdain in people's voices as they talk about the neighboring 'ghettoes.' But, we've been taught to see racism only as individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems of dominance and privilege. While I did not always feel accepted in Lunenburg, I recognize that I had it easier than some others, because I have had the privilege of being white in a town and a larger society where white is the majority, the invisible norm, to which any others are measured in contrast."

*Taken from the Telegram and Gazette dated Thursday 21Nov13

We as a society must get better. I was going to attend the vigil. I really was. I thought about it then I realized all would change once there was a 'verdict' handed down. Once the games were cancelled, the hatred began. Can you IMAGINE if someone else had done it? This would have still been the outcome. People still would hate, there would still be people screaming for an arrest, and people would not be thinking about the larger issue at hand.... there is still the issue of racism in Lunenburg that will now be swept under the rug... again.

 Fourth, ask almost ANY person of ethnic background that attended school there and they will not be surprised about this. Not necessarily the 'spraying', but the racism. They have all experienced it. They got the name calling. The subliminal racist remarks. There was an uneasiness about being a student of color walking the halls. I will say, the Class of '97 was awesome. We had a camaraderie for the most part. I'm sure even as years went on, some of the people outgrow the racism they were taught or sought out in the world as teens.

This goes deeper than a game, deeper than a joke, deeper than a stupid meme where you can be an ignorant asshole and poke fun, or even deeper than a town. This is someone's heart. This is my heart. This is the heart of that 10 year old that walks the halls of Turkey Hill that was called a nigger last week and was about to tell the assistant principal but is now afraid to talk because of how people are reacting on Facebook and seeing what people are posting. This leaves long lasting scars that cut deep. It's deeper than whatever you think you know. As a parent you know a game. You know what goes on a college transcript. You know what will be on a college video for recruiters. As an alumni that was kicked repeatedly for over an hour in class in fifth grade cause a kid was 'convinced as a black kid I had an extra bone in my leg that I could jump higher and dunk' and that same day he tripped me on the way to recess cause he wanted me to break that bone and see if I could still walk without it. Scars run deep.

A Little Confidence....

Hey everyone and happy Sunday Funday! Some stuff to talk about, but shouldn't be much. Just thoughts and musings from a mad man.

I hung out with my best friend Tony yesterday and the day was awesome! We went to the movies and we saw ....

Don Jon! Absolutely hilarious.... and true. Gordon Joseph-Levitt (of 3rd Rock From The Sun fame) wrote and directed this flick. I think it was really well written and definitely made sense. I will say he is really addicted to porn.... really. Great reasons why though. If guys were to watch the first 10 minutes of the movie they could make sense of the reason why most men watch porn. Not to mention Scarlett Johansson was super hot in it...

My boy Tony came over first thing in the morning and he helped me do yard work for hours yesterday. He volunteered his time to help. That's what friends do. I didn't even have to ask for his help cause he offered it without me even thinking of asking him. I totally appreciated it. We have what is called, a friendship. It's one thing to say we're 'friends' and call me once every three or four months and say 'Wow! It's been too long since we hung out. Let's plan something soon.' and have nothing come to fruition. We get together about every other week and watch football, or get together for a few drinks and talk, and his wife will even have me over for dinner. He's never asked me for a thing in return. We just got it like that. We are different in many ways, but one thing we definitely agree on... loyalty should be rewarded.

Me and Chicago on CBS Scene balcony this past June

 

 

The movie Don Jon had me thinking a lot. I spent a great deal of time thinking about relationships, love, life... you know... the adult stuff. Friday night, I was in Home Depot buying a few things and I saw my ex that I was with for five long years.... with her husband. Sure, I've passed her on the highway, I've walked past her before since we broke up, I've even had a phone conversation with her once... but this time it felt different. She looked miserable.... very miserable. Now, I understand a lot of times people will misconstrue what is seen in an ex because it's what you want to see. This... wasn't that. I've always said The eyes are the window to the soul. I saw someone who was looking at her life and wondering where all the time went... like it had passed her by. For a fleeting moment I almost wanted to say hi (even with her husband there) but I thought better of it and walked down another aisle. Then I laughed my ass off. I felt so good about it. I know it's wrong, but I still had to laugh. Now I still definitely have love in my heart for her, but the choices we make are the choices we take.

 

I am acutely aware of my health. The tonic-clonic seizures that are returning again, the dislocated left thumb, the torn ligament in my right, in addition to the fluid buildup on BOTH my knees now... I know my life is pretty much halfway over. I find myself questioning my surroundings more. I question people around me more. I am just seeing people as whiny, self-absorbed, and ill-tempered. When it comes to feeling, people would rather make it situational and craft them to their needs. Sure, people love you when they need you, they're trying to change you from what you are, looking to get something out of you. That's when love comes in. I start to wonder, who will love me in 15 years? If I truly am starting to get Parkinson's and when I can no longer control my ticks? What if I eventually will not be able to walk without assistance? Or if the words I am saying don't make sense to them? Who? The answers I have come up with are frightening.

 

 

I posted this earlier on my Facebook. I have to say... I agree wholeheartedly. It's more about the confidence you have while you are wearing whatever it is that you are wearing. If you have NO confidence, no one gives you that 'confidence' you gotta get that from inside. I always am trying to make myself look better. Not for other people, but for me. I do everything I can to keep heads turning. It's just my nature. I always want people to notice when I walk in a room. I have that Alpha Male personality. Some women I've known in life dress provocatively and only do so to get the attention, then end up with someone that uses them and always makes them feel inferior. Some rock jeans and a tee just cause it's comfortable. Some even throw on a mishmash of clothes and still say it's just how they dress and they don't care. All of them have that confidence. It's the playfulness in the eyes, the conviction behind the smile, the intensity in the eyes. I've met some that dress like any of the three and they don't know how beautiful they truly are... but part of them doesn't want to know. They just want to be in that limbo. Never changing and then blaming past relationships or people in general for their lack of confidence.

 

No one can make you look, dress, like certain things, or live a certain way other than how you want to. It's about comfort levels and that's it. If someone is used to living clean and having things in a certain order and you're not that way, then expect the hammer to drop all the time because someone is put out of their comfort zone reluctantly. It's an adjustment. If you aren't comfortable in your skin and you just don't feel like you can be confident, but you aren't willing to change it... then don't be the asshole that has the nerve to blame other people for your short comings or even worse, making them feel wrong for wanting better for you.

 

With ALLLLLLL of these things said I can compare my life to late summer. Still hot, got hustle and bustle going on, everything is still vibrant and everyone is becoming aware that the season is coming to a close. I ask myself, is this truly where I want to be when the fall of my life is in full swing? Hanging with Tony Chicago was great. He will be there til I leave this planet. I know that. We might have a disagreement or two, but we will always have each others backs. I also wonder why people don't just say what they really feel AND accept what comes of it? If I don't like something, I have every right to say something. You (as the listener) can say whatever you want in regards to that, but seriously say it without yelling about it or dismissing what I say by retaliating with some BS excuse. Speak up! Say whatever it is. Why placate? Or if you don't like something, you have every right to say what you might be feeling but remember that I don't have to stop doing what I was doing and with that I accept what your course of action may be. If someone said they thought my house was messy every time they came over let's say. And they thought I could 'clean up a little more'. I might agree with them, but I'd also say that we could hang at their house more often as well. If they didn't want to come over anymore cause they felt I wasn't 'clean' enough for their standards I'd respect it. We'd just get together somewhere neutral and hang or I'd go to their place. Hell, I'd possibly try to clean a little more and then invite them over later on.

 

I guess I'll leave this post for you to digest and decide what you think. The BIG takeaway is...

 

A little confidence can go a LONG way.

 

Share, comment, think....

 

 

Much love...

Take The Shot!

Sitting here watching my son tryout for the seventh grade traveling team I realize one thing.... time is running short. I've been at this father business for many a year and it's something you only hope goes well for the long run. I've coached him him basketball for four years now and I'm letting him go out for something without being under my watchful eye.

 

As a parent, you want to "coach up" your child throughout life and show them the right way and the wrong way, the easiest versus the hardest, the long versus the short... the lessons are endless. I look back to when he first came home with Lindsey and I, and I refused to hold him for about six or seven months outside of the hospital. I had a dream I was holding him and I looked up and saw Anthony, then looked back at Da'lin and he turned to dust in my arms. Still remember that dream like it was yesterday. I held him in the hospital a few times, but I knew the nurses were there. Finally after a lot of coaching from Lindsey and seeing he needed me to...I finally did it. I haven't let go since. I've been through so much as a father and I can't say I've been right all the time, but it's a trial and error thing. You only hope to not screw up too badly.

 

At this stage in my life, I know the summer of my life is in it's final stretch. People my age are starting to carve out a home, a spouse, a career, a family type setting. They're letting go of the childish things like clubbing, one night stands, insecurities, stuff like that. At 34, I know my body is having major pains, my head is hurting a lot more, my memory never really came back, I'm starting to nest, and I am trying to find some quiet as well as bring along friends that I trust and need (some old ones and some new).

 

For a few years now, I've been the bitter "old" man. I still get angry at the past, I question the decisions I've made, I wonder "what ifs"... who knows where I'd be if I had stayed in the Army like I wanted. Or if I'd just moved to North Carolina when I was 19 like I planned.

 

It was once said in a Beatles song "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." It is so true. You plan for something and then..... POOF! The surroundings change, or the rules change, your situation changes. Some beyond your control, some not. Some people present their truth which turns into a lie. Sometimes, they change just simply because they can. Or they stay the same and bitch about life never getting better....

 

Much thinking being done at basketball tryout. I guess I'd tell you this in closing. One hundred percent of the shots you don't take are the ones you're definitely gonna miss.

The Battle, The Vision, The Stand, and The Endgame

Morning everyone (like all 3 of you that read my blog) and Happy Sunday Funday!! Gotta say, I'm sore as hell. Got a lot I would like to talk about so this may take a while. Let's see what comes to mind in this 'freestyle' post.


The Undefeated

First of all, our game last night was fantastic. We played as a team and we played HARD! I don't get to play that much, but when I do... I go 110%. We had a special team captain named Bennett. He is battling Cancer and is probably around 9 or so. There was an interview on LATV (Leominster Local Access) that one of was done back in July that featured a few people from our team as well as little Bennett. He is a GREAT kid that was all smiles. He ran the football on a handoff from the 20 yard line and 'scored' a touchdown. The team we played, Franklin County Greyhounds helped him do it by pretending to defend him. Such a class organization. They showed up with 13 players. 13!!! The line played both ways and some guys were even limping, but never gave up. We won 55 - 0. It was crazy. Much respect to that organization out west. 8 - 0. That's where we are. Last time I played my last game on that field, my team was 1 - 7. I was captain on that team. We played hard. We actually had to get guys to just come in and play the last game with us cause we only had 16 guys stay throughout the season. That's in the past. I have no words to explain how I am feeling. To be part of greatness and give my all to it and see the rewards instantly. Just amazing.

Facebook and the Internet (Telephone) Tough Guy

I guess I honestly really have this love/hate relationship with Facebook. People bitch about a lot of things on Facebook (as do I sometimes) publically on Facebook. The political bullshit that shows up on my news feed is REALLY annoying and I can't STAND the Political Facebook Analysts that have to try to convince me about our President and who/what/when he is doing anything. Not saying I agree or don't with all our policies but dammit grow the hell up! At the end of the day, whatever person is in office will remain in office until the end of said term and possible reelection. If the President got elected that means a majority of the country said 'Yes, I believe this person will have my best interests at heart for the next 4 years'. What people don't get? They act like children saying whatever they can because their candidate lost so us 'that voted for him' have to listen to them piss and moan about how the POTUS sucks and this or that. Fact is, if their candidate won the election and passed the same laws (signed the bill) I wholeheartedly believe that they wouldn't say a word. I spoke on Obamacare last post. Guess who signed something similar on the state level MANY years before Obama even ran? Wanna guess? It was Romney. Romney had Massachusetts on a similar bill, just not on the federal level. Get over it. Go be a CNN Political Contributor or hell, RUN FOR OFFICE SINCE YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!

... And Game Request Hater

Pretty simple one here... hate game requests? Block them. Or the whole thing for that matter. Facebook has thousands (if not tens of thousands) of games and yes, chances are you will get requests. Don't be so pissed about it. Cut and dry.

...And The Revenge Commenter

So those people that will attack your character just because you commented on their status (and didn't agree with them) or you said something funny to their comment. They feel the need to say mean-spirited things about you just because you don't agree with them. It's kind of sad really.

... And The Relationship Rebounder

The best part of Facebook is keeping tabs on who is dating who. Post five million pics of some random person that they are 'in love' with, and then break up and post pics of the next person cause the last one didn't work out. Oh and it's literally within days of the previous break up.



I want to ask them if they have really thought this thing through. I mean really? We all know you are faster than Dale Earnhardt Jr racing for pole position at Talledega. Just plain dumb. It would be okay that they do move around from person to person if they weren't...

The Public Relationship For The Masses Person

Why air all your dirty laundry on Facebook then get mad for people choosing a side? I mean, you put it out there for public opinion so why not let them tell you what they think? Or even worse, every other day how happy you are in that relationship. Ok, we get it. Everyone knows you are in that relationship but everyday? Get a room! LOL!

Epilepsy And Football

It's never easy 'living' with epilepsy. No clue when you're going to have another grand mal or petite mal seizure, or a tonic - clonic seizure. Migraines that will debilitate you or lose your thoughts and ability to think clearly. Everything is moment by moment. I still play and there are even moments where I feel a little out of sorts, but I keep on going. I love this sport. I love this game. There is no greater feeling than being on that field. I'm not great at anything, but I'm good at a lot of things. I still have a 'tick' where my right arm shakes occasionally and I can't control it. Some definitely will think I'm crazy... but as long as I push my limits, I will eventually learn how far I can go. I have had nine documented concussions and chances are I definitely shouldn't be playing, but I just love this game way too much.

Peace Within, Peace Without

So, I must annoy some people with my positive attitude on Facebook and always trying to post positive statuses. People think I can't be that positive. Here's the thing. I'm not. I just keep it real with everyone around me. If I'm having a bad day and don't want to be bothered... then that's it. I make it known plain and simple. If I dislike someone, then they are just going to be disliked. That's all. I don't let other people bother me about what they think in regards to me because I know exactly who I am and I don't care what anyone thinks. If I say something, I'll stand by it. I guess the golden rule is just be honest about who you are. Don't lie and say that you believe one thing and then turn around and make it something else when the pressure is on. Just be truthful about it. If you dislike something about yourself then change it. If you're comfy with it that's fine too. BUT DON'T SWITCH IT WHEN IT SUITS YOU!! Don't complain about life, yet do nothing to change it. Life shouldn't be stagnant. You ever heard that nothing can grow in stagnant water? Well nothing good can come from being stagnant. Do something. ANYTHING. Whatever that thing is you better make sure it is moving in a positive direction.

I Hate People

It is the truth. I do. Mainly for the reasons I outline above. I can't really see why people act the way they do and have to make things hard on themselves. I guess it just makes my blood boil when people can't even see the point I try to make. They don't have to agree with my point. Just let me have it. I own my point and everything has to be a fucking debate. I allow people to have their opinions and whatever they may think, just let me be me. That's all. I don't need to go back and forth about my point. I said it, I meant it so let's move on from it. Period. That is why I just don't like people. I'm fine if people don't like me. I'm fine if they hate me. It's all good. There is no point in being an asshole to me though. Just avoid me and that will be that. I won't take it personally. What I DO take personally is when people are double-tongued and talk about me behind my back then are nice to my face. That shit annoys the hell out of me. If you hate me that's fine. I'm not exactly everyone's flavor. Respect will be paid though. Tell me you dislike or hate me and then I'll actually respect you more for it. Hell, most people can't even like themselves and stick to making it work. Who has the balls to be honest with themselves and change what they don't like? I struggle with it every single day. The difference is, I accept I will fail. I accept I will not do something I said I was going to do. I just accept my imperfections. That's it. If you can't be adult enough to listen to constructive criticism or to what people don't like about you personally without you taking like a damn five year old temper tantrum then you probably should go crawl under a rock cause it's gonna be a damn LONG miserable life.

That's it my friends.... that's all I got.

Share (please) and comment (please). As before... they are ALWAYS welcome.

The Bible, The Governement, Nothing In Between

Evening everyone. It's been 5 weeks since I posted last and I have been waiting for the right time to say everything I want to. Let me warn you, some things I will type may offend you. That's ok. You may disagree and that's even ok. I'm getting it off my chest. I'm gonna discuss Obamacare (that's right.... that one), The Bible (back to basics of this blog baby), the UNDEFEATED Central Mass Sabercats, and whatever else comes to mind... and not necessarily in that order....



In God.... Well, in God (blind faith that I'm right and your God is wrong) (Even though God is God) We (I think) Trust


John 13:34-35 - New International Version

³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”


These were the words of Jesus to his disciples shortly before he was to be put to death for the sins of all mankind. Love one another. Pretty basic and simple principle. Love. HE DID NOT SAY 'Love whoever is a straight, tax paying, law abiding, gun toting, white person that will agree with everything you say.' Of course, there were no guns back then but you should get the point. He just said 'Love one another'. One another has NO bounds and means literally.... ONE ANOTHER = EVERYONE! Homosexual DOES NOT mean hate! Other skin color DOES NOT mean hate! Different from you DOES NOT mean hate. Period.

John 15:18-23 - New International Version

¹⁸ “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹ If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰ Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’^[b] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹ They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. ²² If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. ²³ Whoever hates me hates my Father as well.

Later on, Jesus says Himself the words above. Hate (while a strong word) is very powerful. Hate can make a WHOLE country go to war with another. Hate can make a person quit their job. Hate can make a person stop shopping at a store. Hate can make a person hurt themselves just to prove a point. Hmmmmmm, let's hang on to that. Hurt themselves just to prove a point. Yeah, that happens more often than not. These people will condemn homosexuals and try to save the sanctity of marriage making themselves look awfully foolish in the process. Does it make sense to protect 'the sanctity of marriage' (A RELATIONSHIP) when that person has sex outside of the wedlock they are so drawn to protect? Or to live with someone they are 'having premarital sex' with? Look, I don't care who does what but don't stand in the cover of God and religion when you fall just as short. Believe ALL of the Bible. Not just the parts that relate to you and further your vendetta. Makes no sense. Sure, those that believe in this verse:

Leviticus 18:22 - King James Version

²² Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Point well taken... Let's cover other 'don't s' shall we? I'll flip it to The Message version of the Bible to make it easier to understand.

 NO Crucifixes: Leviticus 19:4

⁴ “Don’t take up with no-god idols. Don’t make gods of cast metal. I am God, your God

NO Using His Name In Vain: Leviticus 19:12

¹² “Don’t swear falsely using my name, violating the name of your God. I am God.

NO Revenge: Leviticus 19:18

¹⁸ “Don’t seek revenge or carry a grudge against any of your people.

NO Tattoos: Leviticus 28:28

²⁸ “Don’t gash your bodies on behalf of the dead.
“Don’t tattoo yourselves. I am God. 


 In other words.... TAKE ALL OF IT! If you should believe in God, believe ALL of what He said. Seriously. Why believe ONE verse but dismiss all the rest? Hmmmm.... ok so marriage is WAY more 'important' than tattoos or crucifixes or getting revenge. Oh, ok. Is it really???

1 John 5:16-17

^16-17 For instance, if we see a Christian believer sinning (clearly I’m not talking about those who make a practice of sin in a way that is “fatal,” leading to eternal death), we ask for God’s help and he gladly gives it, gives life to the sinner whose sin is not fatal. There is such a thing as a fatal sin, and I’m not urging you to pray about that. Everything we do wrong is sin, but not all sin is fatal.

See EVERYTHING you do wrong is a sin. Tattoos (I have 5) are a sin, looking for or wanting revenge (I have a lot) is a sin, saying 'GODDAMMIT!!' (I have a bad habit of it) is a sin. I was told at a young age, a sin is a sin is a sin. All sin is equal. So if you wish harm on that homosexual you hate so much then yours is equal to theirs. If they choose to live with it then that's fine. Does it mean God will love them less? Nope. Remember the first verse I put up there? Love one another? Yeah that one. Jesus was talking about those that would betray Him. Those that would kill Him. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Period. My disclaimer is this.... I have a VERY close friend of mine that is like a brother to me that happens to be gay. I also have a family member that is gay. I met one of the coolest lesbian couples that are beautiful women inside and out.... and never once did it come to mind that 'OH MY GOD.... I'm hanging with a lesbian couple!!!' Look the answer is simple...  Love (while patient, not envious, and kind) is blind. If God is love, then love knows no boundaries and it is irrelevant who you have it for.       

Now, while I am talking about religion FREEDOM OF religion DOES NOT MEAN you have the freedom to not hear about my religion or for you to feel free to keep me quiet about mine cause yours is different. Don't like the Pledge having 'under God'? Your children don't have to say that part. Don't like the US dollar having 'In God We Trust'? Don't spend it or don't acknowledge it's there. See, the FREEDOM part means you can worship where you want and so can I. The government shouldn't say you can't as they shouldn't say I can't. Don't like me saying 'Merry Christmas'? Say 'Happy Holidays' back. That's all. You do your thing, I do mine.


 Damn That Obamacare!!!!!!!

http://obamacarefacts.com/obamacarebill.pdf 

See that ^^^^^^^? Read it.

Here is what I know to be true about the insurance industry. Big time lobbyists and it is totally unavoidable. Insurance is like this....

100 people decide they want to start a fund to take care of one another in the event of sickness. So they all decide to put in 10 bucks a month.

$10.00 x 100 people = $1000.00/month

Let's say a few of those people do in fact get sick.... A LOT!!! How about 5 of them. Let's say the expenditures (copays, meds, and doctors pay) are $50.00.

$50.00 x 5 people = $250.00/month

Now that leaves the rest who haven't gone to the doctor at all $750.00 left in the kitty.

If this should continue at this trend, imagine if someone got REALLY sick! Hospital stay at $50.00 a day and so on. Now imagine 5 of those people decided to become a Board Of Directors so to speak of the 'insurance' company. After a few months of taking care of the funds and working with doctors to get into their 'plan' they decide that they should get paid for the work they do. Let's say $15.00/BOD Member/month

$15.00 x 5 people = $75.00/month

EVERY MONTH (out of $1000.00/per month)

+$1000.00 - $250.00 - $75.00 = $675.00 for everyone else's coverage AND pharmaceutical needs as well as labs to pay for THE OTHER 95 PEOPLE!!!

ALSO WE DIDN'T EVEN COVER THE COPAY OF THE INSURED!!

We haven't EVEN covered the deductibles to the doctors that the insurance will pay for you!!! We're almost down half!! That's just the basics!!! Let's add to this from the other side.

Let's say there are 5 people that didn't 'buy in' to the plan. 3 of them went to the doctor. Those 3 had a payment of $50.00 due because of no insurance.

$50.00 x 3 people = $150.00 in the red

Someone has to pay for all this stuff.... right? I mean, there's the doctor (who pays to be in the 'network') and the pharma that is supplying the FREE "sample" meds the doctor gave the person that didn't have coverage cause they felt for the person.

Let's add one Obamacare stipulation: Everyone must buy in. No matter who you are. 

So while the 'insurance company' has 100 people and there are 5 people without that just aren't paying... until now.

Those 5 go on subsidized insurance because they have no jobs. They will pay nothing for the insurance, yet pay $1.00 for insurance co-pays and the subsidized insurance giver pays all the rest. The price of the labs, the doctor bill, the meds doesn't change. It stays the same.

Let's say 5 more STILL don't get insurance (subsidized or the 'group') they will be forced to pay tax penalties.... They still don't pay the penalties and the hospital can't turn them away. Again, the bills don't change.

The pharma can raise rates (as well as the machine makers for X-Rays and the like) so the doctor is forced to do what? Raise rates. That in turn leads to the 'insurance' group to raise their 'buy in' rates.

That's it in a nut shell. Use whatever else you want but Obamacare you better read for yourself.

But please, DO EXACTLY THAT!!! Read FOR YOURSELF!!!

Part II to come on Sunday!!

I'll then cover the Central Mass Sabercats.... Will we be 8 - 0 for an UNDEFEATED SEASON?

Peace in the heart and soul. How is it possible I keep it?

How do I stay afloat with football while battling migraines and epilepsy? Yeah... let's talk about that.

Oh.. and ignorant people on Facebook.... I got a LOT to say about that....

What's this 'Rev' name about??


As always.... make sure to comment... (please) and share this blog. It's pretty interesting. :o)

Rev Duck
#93

Ascension To Power

Yeah, that's me. I made it back. I'm ready to fight, kick, claw, and bleed to make it to the championship. Three years ago, I was shaking and having epileptic fits wondering if I had a brain tumor, Parkinson's, or an aneurysm (as what the doctors told me) and here I am. I'm 22 lbs lighter and BARELY faster, but I'm still getting it done. I work hard and play hard. I make no misconceptions, I don't see myself as a starter every week but I will bust my ass to do my job. I've had moments where I wanted to leave it behind, but I keep going back to playing. Words can't describe what I feel when I'm on the field. There's an electricity that comes from being out there mixing it up.

This was 20 lbs lighter on the right.

I've put in a lot of work to get to where I am. It required a lot of supplements, working out, and of course... practice. We started in February and we had practice from 9 - 11 PM on Mondays and Wednesdays. Yeah, you read that right. Some nights I didn't get home til 1130 or 12 and still I got up and went to work for 930. We moved to Tuesday and Thursday nights 630 til 830 back in early May. I have lost a grand total of 22 lbs, but I have really only been working with the team on practice nights and have pretty much abandoned the gym. I can only imagine what I'd look like if I went to the gym on off nights! I'm about to find out.

I've had so much happen since I last typed in this blog. I got a new position in a new department as of 22May. I got a nice raise and better hours. The people are amazing to work with and there are no hangups, no one 'abusing' power, and even better hours. Each day I find myself loving my new position more and more. 

A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to coach (for a day) and I enjoyed it thoroughly. There were no politics and it was strictly for the kids. They got a LOT out of what we had to say at our clinic and it was the most fun I've had coaching in quite a while.

It’s been a great journey thus far with the Sabercats. We are 3 – 0 as of this moment and this week’s test is with the Brass City Brawlers (also 3 – 0). It will be a great test of wills on that date. That date is also the 16^th anniversary of Anthony’s death. I will be playing that game, but also doing it for Anthony. I’ve talked about him previously in this blog and I still think of him daily. He was and still is a driving force in my life to be a better father and person. I’ve battled through blood, sweat, tears, and my own doubt to get to where I am today. I’ve been with this team since February working out and attempting to get better. There is no sufficient reason why I have made it this far other than by God’s grace. I never would have thought I’d be standing on the mountaintop with my team and in my life.  I don’t have much money and I can’t say I’m rich but I have friends that look after me and help me get through my days. There are so many people I used to call friends, but once it hit the fan they were gone. Of course, they will pick up the phone every few months and go through the motions and say “I miss hanging with you.” Or “You’re like my fam.” , but the truth is… they are doing just enough to keep in touch in the event they will need something from me.

There is a certain code I live by in life given my circumstances.

1.       Never EVER judge others.

• I’ve done everything wrong in life and I have NO right to judge anyone for what they do/don’t do with the choices they make.

2.       If a ‘friend’ can’t be one, then move on.

•  I don’t have time to wait on hanging with them and lip service does neither of us any good, so why keep up the charade?

3.       Keep a level head when making decisions.

• It’s important to me to never choose an option when I’m upset or angry. I like to take my time until I can see the bigger picture without any bias or partiality.

4.       Be comfortable with my decision once it’s made.

• When I do something that is neither popular or common I stick with what works for me. Period. I don’t go looking for accolades or acceptance. If someone gets mad at me for it, so be it. I do what is comfortable for me and I can stand my ground comfortably WITHOUT backing down because someone else disagrees with my reasoning. The beauty of being me is that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. Don’t like it? Don’t look or listen.

5.       Accept differences.

• I am always willing to be open to what other people do and are. Because I am a drinker doesn’t give me the right to make fun of or peer pressure people who are ‘straightedge’ for example. If someone chooses to have an open marriage with no attachments, who am I to say they are wrong? I believe marriage is between two people and should remain that way. It’s my belief and my belief alone. With that being said…

6.       DO NOT pressure others.

•  I do my best to not make other people see things MY way as the right way. All the time on Facebook people constantly try to make other people see things THEIR way and not only that… but see it as the right way. What works for you may not necessarily be the right way for someone else. It’s so strange how people turn any saying, sentence, or idea and manipulate it to what THEY believe and want. FOR EXAMPLE, people talk about the saying ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ which philosophically means to let me be me and don’t force me into your beliefs. The Tea Party movement started with this… HOWEVER, if you don’t agree with them then YOU ARE WRONG! See? How does that make sense? Leave others opinions as is. Life does not depend on others views of the world unless it involves the death penalty and you are on death row. Or you’re a fetus… 

As always... comments welcomed, encouraged, and respected.

Who dat! Who dat! Who dat think they gonna stop Rev Duck?

Good morning everyone! It's been many, many, many months since I've written an entry and for that I apologize. So much has happened since then. Also, today is Vince Lombardi's 100th birthday!! To honor that, Every quote you see will be from him. Let's talk volunteering in youth sports, job situation, Tim Tebow joins the Patriots, weight loss, S.H.I.N.E, then end off with the Sabercats.

"Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate."

 

Do I coach football anymore? No. I'm all done with youth football. When it's not about the kids, I'm not about it. I will say that there was a moment that I wondered if I should be involved with ANY youth sports because politics make it into every single youth organization and it disgusts me. Most youth sports coaches and youth organizations disgust me due to their (my way is better than OUR way) attitudes. That's all I will say about that. I still coach youth basketball because there is very little time for politics to even make it in.

 

Coach Alex (L), Da'lin (Center), and Me (R)
2012

 

"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."

 

 

 

I started with BNY Mellon on 5December11. The job was amazing... at first. People that are miserable want to stay miserable. They also want to make everyone around them miserable. Most of the people I worked with were just making their way through their eight hours. I am an overall positive person, but when someone takes their position and uses it to their advantage to push people around and does not work to their position and because of that I have to work harder... I will not bend to their will. So, with that said I changed positions and got a promotion that involved MORE money, BETTER hours, and lastly NO micro-managing. People are actually happy to be at work and everyone holds their own weight. I am completely grateful for the time and patience my old manager gave to me to teach me the things I needed to know to get to this point in my life. Good things will come to those who wait. Eight years to get the hours and pay I had been waiting for.

 

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."

 

 

I said a year ago in my blog... Tebow is a mediocre QB at best.

 

http://duckiesdabbling.blogspot.com/2012/01/back-in-saddle.html

 

Truth is, he just had too many expectations to early. With great responsibility comes great expectations. Given the opportunity (under the tutelage of Belichick) he will learn to read a defense and possibly react. McDaniels is a non-factor. I said it... a NON-FACTOR!! He drafted Tebow with his #1 pick in 2010. He was promptly fired at the completion of that season. Belichick wouldn't take McDaniels' 'opinion' and make it his own. Belichick has respect for Tebow and must see something in him that 31 other teams passed on him. Give Tebow a few years under Tom and then judge his body of work. He will get better. I can see that. It's all in how he will bounce back from scrutiny and defeatists.

 

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."

 

 

 

I've lost 18 - 23 pounds (depending on the day) since December. I've put in SO much work to get here. It is not easy to give up overeating. Getting in the time to do cardio, work out, or eat cleanly is difficult but eating in moderation is key. Believe it or not, I have lost more visually since this picture was taken. I am definitely feeling better and sharper since I've lost the weight. I started taking supplements (NOT STEROIDS) from Prosource in New Jersey. They are a GREAT company that gets the items to you in two business days. I am so excited to be in the shape that I am and I am getting better every day.

 

 

“After all the cheers have died down and the stadium is empty, after the headlines have been written, and after you are back in the quiet of your room and the championship ring has been placed on the dresser and after all the pomp and fanfare have faded, the enduring thing that is left is the dedication to doing with our lives the very best we can to make the world a better place in which to live.”

 

 

 

 

So I have started a Facebook page that is called SHINEon. Shine is an acronym for Style, Heart, Intelligence, Nerve, and Endurance. These are things that NO ONE should have the capability of taking these things from you. I post all my inspirational things from there. I'm hoping my page (just like my blog) gets a lot of followers. There's so much negativity on the web, I'm just trying to carve out some happiness and peace of mind for someone that might need it. I want to have someone say at my funeral that something I said or did changed their life and they became a better person. I want to leave a mark on this world. One day, someone will be changed by the words that I speak. Yes, I have played football, I have coached many kids, and might even win a ring... but once all that is gone I want to be remembered for the love I left for those around me.... and yes, I did say 'win a ring'.

 

 

“Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It’s a state of mind – you could call it ‘character in action.’”

 

I am BACK!! I'm playing for the CENTRAL MASS Sabercats this year. I have been practicing with the team since February and I feel great. We are going off at practice and I'm still here. I've taken hits and given hits yet, I'm experiencing no pain or headaches other than the typical soreness. We will have one hell of a ride this year and I've come to know my teammates as brothers. I pray for their safety before and after every practice and I am excited to know each of them.

 

 

Kept it short, but effective. As always I welcome comments and share the blog.... I hope someone reads them....