The Path Of The Lonely Warrior

 

war·ri·or

   [wawr-ee-er, wawr-yer, wor-ee-er, wor-yer]  

noun

1.

a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.

2.

a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in politics or athletics.

So I look at this point in my life and I wonder… where am I? How did I actually get here? I had many plans for myself years ago. I used to be laid back with an intense fire inside my eyes to rule the world. I had a eye for money, for seeing through bullshit, and for knowing myself. I was ALWAYS true to myself. I never let anyone make me out to be something that I wasn’t or that I didn’t want them to see. Now I let everyone and anyone as and do whatever the hell they want. It’s really irrelevant what people believe and say about you. People will talk about you no matter what. Hell, people will look you dead in your eye and call you friend and turn around and tell everyone your ‘business’ whether it’s true or not. They’ll make shit up and swear to the heavens that it’s gold. I have found that I have had many friends in my life that have claimed to have my back and it’s definitely not true. Cats become salty because I stay real and true to myself no matter what the circumstance and it honestly sucks.

I can’t stand everything around me. It’s tiring. People are really getting to be dynamic rather than static. Everyone only shows they care when it is suitable for their timing. In fact, in some cases people are only trying to get me to see their side of things and not what I see. 

I have honestly deluded myself into believing that I have many close friends and I am starting to realize I am alone. No close anything. If I tell anyone anything, it will NEVER be close to the cuff, it will be told to someone else. I stand a dying breed of warrior. True to my word. I don't change what I am or what I live. I live by a code of ethics and I keep my 'friends' close. Even if they choose to discard me I refuse to tell their secrets or things they said in confidence. There is a code to friendship. A code to life and love. 

I am thinking back on these 35 total years here and I can't understand how I got here. Looking at my surroundings and seeing that the world around me is full of people that have no loyalty, no code, no need for growth. Sometimes it makes me really upset that I work so hard to be a great person, to be a great friend, a wonderful global citizen and no one will respect that. No one will understand or honor it. I believe in everyone that I give a little of myself to. Do I get that same in return? I really don't think so. It's always a reason due to something. Take your pick. 

I have only changed my life for the better in the past 35 years. Never for a woman, a job, a friend, or for anyone else. Just for me. To be a better person only. Of course to say, I have had dark days where I did decide to become an asshole because of various things on my life that made me angry (my son dying, being the black sheep of my family for a time when I was younger, etc)  but I have always found my way back to the side that fit me and those I love most. 

People stand before me and they will question my integrity, my authority, my morals, my loyalty and then have the nerve to spit at the ground I walk on. Or swear allegiance to me and then will dismiss me for whatever reason and come and go whenever they see fit. I hate that feeling and the shit is not right. I am not a dog that you can let out for the night and expect to come back in the morning. We are both human beings. We chat and are supposed to nurture these things called friendships. If I'm not worth the time then respect me as a man and tell me to fuck off. I'm cool with that. Same point, grow the hell up people. Why is it some people can't take it when you don't agree with their point? If there is something that you don't see eye to eye on, why the fuck is it that a cat has to get all salty and start using all exclamation points and caps lock on Facebook or yelling in person? So childlike. 

For now, I'm on my own... I have no one on my team. I stand solo and there is nothing I can do about it. I will become a better, faster, stronger weapon. My mind has to become sharper. There's no one I can share my thoughts with, no one I can talk to about my visions, no one that understands the code that I live by because I am that dying breed.

Kinda like the samurai I guess.

The Seven Virtues Of Samurai

How I roll... and I guess I have many acquaintances and I sit alone.

The Honest Post

Here I am, back at it. Been a while since I’ve posted and for that I do apologize. This post is going to be about my honesty. There are some things I feel some type of way about and I’d like to post on that. I’ve had many things happen since I last posted and I want to share my thoughts on them.

The Precious (Ring)

Well, it’s been done. The ring I have been searching for has been found. I received my Super Bowl Championship ring on Saturday of last week. I was kind of excited for it, but not fully. I really did nothing to get it. I rode the backs of many men to get it. Let’s be clear, I’m 35 years old and nowhere near as good as my counterparts. I have heart and I did everything asked of me to get to where I got to. However, I just wasn’t ‘good enough’ to even play a series for the last six weeks. The most sweat I got was in pregame warm-ups. It was a waste of my Tuesday and Thursday nights and many miles logged on my car on Saturdays to watch a semi-pro football game. I did make many friendships along the way and experiences that I will always be grateful for. Many people that I trusted showed me their true colors over the course of the season. Many friendships were tested, many will never be the same again. Out of that experience, I learned even men cannot stand up and be truthful and treat other men like… men. This is NOT about ego. This is about the truth. Treating men with respect and having honest dealings with these people that spend hundreds of dollars of their hard earned money to support a team. To take time away from their families and potential injuries that may force them out of work for a time. For the love of the game, these men that say “Yes, I will sacrifice my health, my time, and my money for this game that I love and the chance to be a part of this family and this brotherhood.” To just shit on those men and the commitment they make just to make a better run at a ring is something I’ll never understand. This is mostly why I have made the switch to competitive strongman. It is something I have always wanted to be a part of since I watched Magnus Ver Magnusson compete in the World’s Strongest Man back in the 90s.

Magnus Ver Magnusson

The Genesis Of The Strongman

Back in the early 2000s, I had told a friend of mine that I intended to train for WSM (World’s Strongest Man) and would be competing for it by the mid 2000s. I trained hard for a few months and then everything just fell apart. My son was getting becoming a toddler and I had to concentrate on work and making money to feed my family. Training was not in the cards. I abandoned that dream. I had no choice. Years passed, I got older and eventually forgot about it.

Let’s fast forward to November 2013. I started working out with a friend, Nick. We had done maybe 2 or 3 workouts and as we were leaving the gym, I said “You know, I really want to get up to powerlifting and training for strongman competitions.” He stopped dead in his tracks and said “No shit, I’ve always wanted to do that. There’s a place in Everett that does them.” With that, the seed was planted and we started gearing our training to that. I thank God for Nick daily. We have developed a friendship and are like brothers. We train together, talk about events of the day, and look out for each others’ well-being.

The life of someone who does what I do is a lonely one. Many people don’t understand the ‘need to feed’ the addiction that weightlifting becomes once a person consciously decides to get into this lifestyle. The need to eat protein at pretty much every meal becomes very costly. The people that precede us and the muscle they carry is something that the average person thinks is gross and ‘just too much’. The constant talk about competition and what it will take to get there makes some peoples eyes roll out of their heads practically. Yes, a very lonely life. I spend most days beating myself up thinking about what I should have done differently in my workouts or how I could have eaten differently that day.

This new life is something I’m getting used to and it is by no means easy. It’s expensive and lonely, yet I know it can be rewarding. It’s gonna take time, but I will get used to it.

The Facebook Life

I don’t get is how people can get so bent over what other people have for beliefs on social media. I was one of those people that get bent. When people would post hateful messages about the President or being stereotypical about welfare recipients I’d be the first to chime in with a rebuttal. I was that Facebook crusader. I just had to take it personally. What’s the reason for that? Is there really THAT little to do in life to get bent and have to take potshots at other people for having an opinion other than mine? I realized eventually that because I have an opinion one way, that does not mean that I necessarily have the right opinion. It may be right for me, but I don’t have to push my values and beliefs on others. I can post what I want on my page and no one has the right to tell me I can’t. Many people I have as friends on Facebook have different opinions than mine. In fact, I’ll say drastically different. I see all kinds of posts and if it comes down to being offensive on a regular basis, I just hide their posts. It’s just that simple. To call people out for what they post on their page, is similar to telling someone they aren’t allowed to put stuff of their front lawn cause they drive by and don’t like the view. Seriously? Calm down. It’s Facebook. People have a right to post whatever they want and whether it’s political, grammatical, or whatever… get over it. There is no Facebook Police and as long as it isn’t violating any laws leave it be. By accepting the friend request you are pretty much saying “Yes, I accept what I will see from you on my news feed.” It’s really not that serious. If people are so compelled to be rude to those that have different views, then just unfriend that person.

The Human Nature Experience

When it comes to my everyday experiences with other people, I am perplexed how they act. I get generally annoyed by most people and that is EXACTLY why I don’t deal with people on a regular basis. I have a hard time accepting how people feel ‘entitled’ to rewards in life. We all must work for what we want. Treating others like dirt because they have more than you or because they may not agree with you on issues is unacceptable. There is no reason to make someone feel horrible because you don’t agree. Just agree to disagree and move on. This world is a big place and I’m sure there are others that will see your point and one person that doesn’t isn’t the bad guy/girl. It is really disgusting to treat people with no respect just on the basis of human decency. So many people have this thing where they believe that they should be allowed to talk to people however they want to because of how they feel people treat them. Maybe if people examined how they act and what they say about others, they may realize that they may be the problem. Imagine if people looked in the mirror first before acting on impulse? 

What's The Point?

My point is this. Treat others with the respect that you'd want. People will only give you what you give them. Want people to respect your opinions? Respect theirs. If you have a right to do whatever it is in your beliefs that you do, then respect that they also have that same right. No one person is above another. It's just that simple. Each day I wake up, I realize more and more that there are more 'entitled' people in the world than there are hard working people. People think the people that help them are supposed to. The people that listen to them are SUPPOSED to. Be a man/woman and accept that people are just different. 

Most importantly, realize that some people you trust will MOST DEFINITELY fuck you over. Throw up the deuces at them and keep it moving. No need to Facebook the drama and look for social acceptance... unless you want people to hate on you and judge you after. 

As always, leave a comment or hit me up on Facebook for thoughts. I'd love some feedback.