Time Will Tell

As I watched the past few days of the NFL Scouting Combine I have to ask myself ‘Is it really possible to play again this year? After TWENTY SEVEN complex partial seizures, in the month of October is it legitimately possible to step back onto the gridiron and play?’ I had the tests and the doc says yes. I asked her flat out, can I play and she said yes.

People ask me ‘Why would I go back to play with all the issues I have?’ All I can say is, these issues I have also are caused by stress as well. People give me lots of stress too and that doesn’t cause a problem. So at least I can do something I love and I can control. Stress in fact is worse for me than impact I think. Laying the hit stick on someone is euphoric in ways I cannot begin to tell you. Getting yelled at, or being told what to do as a grown man, or told what you are doing wrong constantly, or just dealing with everyday stress is just plain awful and damaging. Everyone needs some type of release regardless of condition. Let’s talk football.

To be honest, I was a fair-weather football enthusiast until I became a coach 3 years ago. I knew football, I liked football but I didn’t KNOW football. Once I became an assistant coach for Tiny Mites (6-7 year olds) I learned a lot from the Head Coach. He was/is a very well versed man. I’m sad to say… I didn’t even know all the positions that well. I just laid back and watched. I pretended to know. As I watched him, I learned. One problem. He had a job. He is a firefighter and he sometimes had to work so the other coaches and I had to take over play-calling and running drills and such. The one thing I am good at is taking a scientific approach to whatever I set out to do. This was it. Once I did that, I was hooked. The Head Coach decided not to put in for the next year, I stepped up for the next year. Once I took over Junior Pee Wee 2, I was sold out. I created a playbook with over ONE HUNDRED pages of plays, drills, and techniques to teach these kids. It wasn’t about winning. It was about winning. It was (and still is) about teaching. I want these kids to think. I want them to know positions, gaps, gap responsibility, holes, techniques. Yes, at the age of 9. We didn’t win one game last year. Not one. But guess what? I took fifteen kids (twelve of them never played football before) and I could add in a new play, formation, and technique MIDGAME and we could do it successfully! Yeah, mark of good coaching. All of the kids were doing good in school and respecting each other and their parents. A few coaches I look up to are:

Tom Landry

Vince Lombardi

Bill Belichick

(Don’t get me started on Spygate) Mangini is a punk and he used the same camera guy the week before. He even used the same guy when he was with us here in New England so that crap doesn’t fly with me. Execution wins games, not just play calling. Read The Education Of A Coach.

Bill Parcells

If you ever get the chance to watch Reflections On A Life In Football on NFL Network definitely do. It is really good.











Where do I see life taking me? I have no idea. I’m still looking for a job. I’m actually on LinkedIN, Monster, CareerBuilder, and I check CraigsList from time to time but I’m sketched out by it because I would think most companies would use reputable newspapers or job search engines rather than Craigslist. Time will tell if I can come up with something.

Last topic for today… Truth in self.

No matter what people may think, I don’t have to be right. I just know who I am. I am one of those people who absolutely annoy others because I have spent so much time analyzing what works for me and what doesn’t that I have no problem telling people no or yes because if I don’t like it, I just don’t like it and that’s that. Hate it or love it. Maybe it’s the ease with which I do it that comes off as me being a jerk? I think it’s not fair when people do things to ‘make someone feel better’ or ‘to appease someone elses ego’ because then you will be expected to do it all the time and eventually you will grow to resent that person or you will grow to hate that thing because you won’t give it a fair shot because it was never in your time. It was ‘forced’ on you.

A part of knowing who you are, people will talk about you. It happens to me all the time. I really don’t care about that. People I care about talk about me. They call me Duck for a reason. That stuff rolls off of me usually like water rolls off of a Duck’s back. Since I know the person I am, there isn’t a person who knows me better than me. If I write a book, who is gonna tell me what I meant when I wrote the ending? They can’t. I have to stay the course and be true to myself always. Even when other people hate me for it I just have to stay the course. Sucks, but it is just the facts.

It kills me to hear complaining over the same things without trying anything. If you’re doing the best you can to change it, then keep complaining. I’ll be there to listen and I’ll even complain with you. Why complain if you aren’t changing anything? Or goodness, don’t complain if you don’t want me to say anything. ESPECIALLY if you’re gonna complain about the same thing you complain about everyday. As my old Drill Sergeant used to say, don’t tell me fifteen different ways to run the flag up the damn pole, just run the flag up there!! In other words, if you never do it don’t say a word. Don’t bother saying what you’re gonna do if you aren’t going to do anything. Life is hard enough to live for ourselves, sometimes all we have is ourselves… work hard to get through the darkness or navigate by YOUR OWN FAITH! Complaining about it all the time will serve no one. Standing in the dark and screaming about it will:

A) Leave you still in the dark
B) Get you nowhere
C) Is just plain silly
D) Shows that you have no faith in yourself
E) Are co-dependent on someone else and need to get a grip

Football is a science that is always changing and the variables are never, ever the same and can make you crazy as a player, coach, spectator, and fan. I am blessed to be all four at the same time on the youth, semi-pro, and professional levels. Wow! That’s a lot to say.

I know all these things. I believe all these things. Let me ask you… What do you believe?

Moving Onto What Everything Is

You know, I’m fairly certain someday someone will find my life interesting enough to make a movie of my life… that is a fact. True story. Anyone know a screen writer? HAHA!

Part of yesterdays’ blog was about the team I will be playing for, the Gardner Sabercats. Let me tell you. That has been a journey as well. My ear is TOTALLY bent from that as well. Watching this team develop has been so hard since it’s inception last year. The owner is one of my good friends (as I said yesterday) and he was very concerned about the team not making it. Rightfully so of course but I knew it would. I believe he knew in the back of his mind he was sure it would too.

That’s my number in the picture, number sixty. This year, we are looking simply to make a playoff run. The rest will be bonus. Should we win it all… fantastic. The motto, a team above all. Above all a team. Yeah, sounds good don’t it? I’m the interim webmaster for the team right now as well as the webmaster for Leominster Pop Warner. It’s a lot of work. Trust me.

The Goal (In Depth)
If you were to go back to my goal, and re-read what I wrote back in the blog entitled Simply Being, you will find what I listed as my one goal starting that day. I’ve only counted the success days since 31December2010. Let me refresh your memory.

*Taken from Simply Being by Me* Blog post from 15Dec

'I'm going to start a trend. I'm gonna call out all backstabbers going forward. There are people who talk about me behind my back and I know it. It is unhealthy to be two-faced. I don't mind if people don't like me cause my brazen approach isn't exactly for everybody, but why pretend to be cool with me if they were just spreading rumors and gossip about me? I plan to make whoever it was extremely uncomfortable until they come clean about it. For example, let's say someone says that I am a liar to Person A **NOTE**AS LONG AS I KNOW FOR SURE AND IT'S PROVEN AND IS FROM A REPUTABLE SOURCE** then comes to talk to me at a party while I'm conversing with another friend. I'm going to calmly say to this person "Since you feel it is okay to say that I am a liar to Person A what makes you think it's okay to talk to me as if we are friends?" and leave it. This will leave it up to that person to come clean. It is time for people to start being real with one another. Honest. Stop lying and be straight up. It's cool not to like someone, just tell them. They can handle it. If someone says something about someone else, it don't matter. Gossip is not cool and it has no place in this world. We have to stop it. A clear stance has to be made.'

The reason why I am retelling you this, is because I am going to share with the readers (how many or few of you a text conversation between someone in my old church and Heather, my girlfriend. Why? It is simply because of my goal. I was judged. My feelings were being judged and rather than coming to me… this person decided to take it to her… see for yourself. Let me remind you, for three weeks I hadn’t been to church cause in prayer I had been hearing ‘Do not go to that church anymore. Wait, see what I have in store for you.’ Then, the night before the following text transpired all I could hear was… ‘Tomorrow, something will happen between you and Heather that will change the course of your life’ Here are the texts exactly as they were sent:

(Me) is Heather and (HIM) is the person from the church.

Me: I think I am suppose to work Gods kitchen tonight and I won’t be getting out of work until 445. So I won’t be there until 545

HIM: I will let Bro ***** know. How are you doing? Missed you yesterday. Would have texted you but thought maybe you and Dan were getting tired of me bugging you.

Me: I slept through the alarm…been really tired lately. Don’t know what’s wrong other than I now have double the work load at work

HIM: that doesn’t help

Me: I don’t know if I can do Gods kitchen anymore. I’m missing out on overtime cause I have to leave and if I don’t come in early enough I have to take leave to make it there

HIM: God’s Kitchen is between you and God. I am only going to say this once. You have to work to pay your bills, rent, and utilities. Otherwise you will be out on the street. Overtime is part of that requirement at this time. However, supposedly you have a person who claims to be your partner, fiancé, equal. Saying that, if he is wanting to be your man he should help out when you have a commitment you can’t make because you are working so that he can have a place to keep warm. There, I have said enough. I will shut up.

**END OF CORRESPONDENCE**


Now, here are a few kickers…

1. She didn’t volunteer for this God’s kitchen thing. God’s kitchen is feeding the homeless three nights a week. (Heather had Mondays)This person actually lives less than a mile from the church where God’s kitchen takes place and could have done it.

2. This person guilted her into doing God’s kitchen. He fed her the doom and gloom thing. Do your part… BLAH BLAH BLAH! There are only 8 or 9 members in the church though who can do things and they were already ran thin.

3. The worst one of them all…. Heather never even asked me to do it for her. If she had, I would have fed the homeless in her place.

4. I was the custodian of the church. I cleaned the church for free. I was supposed to be paid, but hadn’t been paid in seven weeks and didn’t say a word. I drove 8 miles each way wasting (well, not really wasting) gas to clean God’s house for free and the PASTOR of this church was telling someone other than me that I was basically mooching. Nice.

So, am I wrong? Heather showed me this and I was needless to say not happy. She wasn’t either. She understood that I wasn’t and she explained to me that this was not the first time that he said off color things about me. I was a little upset because there was no reason to tell me one thing and tell her something different. I was not the least bit surprised by his actions though. This was my mentor and the man who was telling me that I was going 'to take over as Associate Pastor one day' and ‘God had shown him’ these things. Let me share this with you all, God speaks to all of us. God spoke to Daniel just like He spoke to Moses. Daniel (held court with kings) and Moses (who was a murderer) just the same. It’s He who chooses, not we.

Religion is so hard because how can someone say “God told me, but not you? God gave to me, but not you? God told me His plan for you, but not you?” That's what was happening to me. That's why people... Young people leave the church. It is up to us each as individuals to decide what works for us. My goal has worked for me. I put out there why I left the church and these are my feelings. I had to put it out there.

When it comes to the Bible as well, it’s science and the Bible, science OR the Bible. It can’t be sometimes one and sometimes the other. I remember I was teaching Bible study and there was a half hour argument yes, I said ARGUMENT with him on a study question as to how I was wrong in an answer about which disciple I was more like. Then, science was brought into the discussion. I was wondering when L. Ron Hubbard walked into the room? I knew then and there it was time to go. God created the Heavens and the Earth. That is all the science. I think He wants healthy discussion among us about what is in His book. What I don’t think, is He wants is for any one man to be a know-it-all and to think he has the cure all and the insight of the Bible.


Life As I Know It

Each day, I worry more and more with everything that passes. My son just turned ten as of 13January.

Da'lin (Xander) Alexander

Mirieanah (Mimi) Alessa

My daughter just turned four as of 21February.

I am thirty-two and have no career, no direction other that being a great orator, a musical connoiseur, a fairly good DJ (with no equipment mind you), and a science for the game of football. All of which is good for just about nothing. I feel like I’m the bottom of the glass of unmixed Kool-Aid. You ever tried to drink that? It’s bitter… UGH! Or I feel like a great song with no hook. It’s just a loop. I am starting to tell my son that there is a sense of urgency in his life because I wasted mine. I can’t do anything with mine because I’m too old at the age of thirty two (well, at least according to the world).

Never seen the movie, but the title seems to remind me of me… there truly is no country for old men. I feel like I am old because I have no home. I see everyone around me leaving off to do their jobs, lives, loved ones… while I am in slow motion. I see all these young bucks heading off to Afghanistan and the sad thing is… I’d trade with them. I’d go cause I need the job. I drove to Maine two months ago for a DHS (Dept of Homeland Security) job test and 45 out of the 49 other people there were active military in that session… I failed before I picked up my pencil. I think 13,000 took the test in total. I can’t win. I guess I should have brought Parker Lewis.

What do I tell my ten year old son?

 “Your Pops used to be in the Army you know? Yeah, it was under 180 days though so I’m not really a vet I’m only prior service. I can’t get the vet plates. I tell people sometimes that I am though cause it makes me feel better about myself. Prior service counts for something right?”

 I can hear him now….

“Not really Pops.”

 I’ve tried to make it right with myself, with the Army, with my heart… they want zero to do with me and that’s fine I guess. It makes me mad though because I can’t even give myself away now. At thirty two, I have a work ethic like no other, and I can’t even give myself away. That is pretty tragic. The recruiting station here in Leominster couldn’t run from me fast enough. The kid (yes, I said kid) that was assigned to be my recruiter had one of the guys I went to Basic with as his Drill Instructor. Yup, he’s a kid… and he has/had/wants no desire to help me at all. I think he never did . In fact, I don’t think he made one call on my behalf. If he did I never heard about it. What do I tell my daughter? In fifteen years, if she gets married could I afford to pay for her wedding and give her a princess’ wedding like I already know my princess deserves? Can her Pops be the father who will buy her the most unbelieveable prom dress because she wants it? Or will I be the broke father who everyone of her friends talks about? My son sees my eyes and he asks me almost daily am I okay… it gets harder and harder to say yes. Will I be able to buy my son all the best football equipment when he gets to high school? Leominster is a HUGE high school football community. I want him to succeed in ways I never could. I want him to make it. He is in AP classes ALREADY and is an Honor Roll student on track to go on to a great college (which he is talking about college now) so do I say scholarship or no college?When he gets his first girlfriend and wants to go on a date, will I be able to let him use the car? Or say ‘You’re gonna have to ask your mom you money to take a cab?’ What type of father am I? Will my kids ever know what it’s like to have a house with a yard and a swimming pool? To be able to have a birthday party in their own home? My grandmother said to me as a young man, “Every gentleman should have at least one suit in their closet.” Xander has almost out grown his. A father is supposed to provide that. What type of father am I? I feel like Muhammad Ali sometimes. Remember when he lit the torch at the Olympic games? It brought tears to my eyes.

Now, in no way am I comparing myself to The Greatest Of All Time, but Bob Costas says “Now, trapped behind that mask…” He calls it “…tragic.” I feel like that. I used to feel like I was young and full of life. I had time. At the age of thirty two I feel like I should be writing my own eulogy. Why? I don’t know.

My best friend texted me yesterday to tell me about a job. He said it’s not “the most glamorous job” but still it’s a job. I was said whatever it’s a job. It is for a part time dishwaster at the restaurant he works at. Let me say this upfront, as long as they pay me, I don’t care whatever the job is. I’m not too proud for any job. Then he tells me, the SIXTEEN YEAR OLD kid that quit the job felt he was too good for it and he was entitled to it. My heart sank and I felt about two inches tall. What do I tell my kids now? All I have been telling myself for the past twenty four hours is ‘What do you say now bottom feeder? Used to have a good job and now look at you! Start dumpster diving for jobs cause you’ll never get anything! You got talent but they don’t want talent they want college educations! They want experience! What they don’t want is YOU! You can’t even sell yourself to the Armed Forces AND IT’S WARTIME MAN!!! HOW USELESS ARE YOU!?!?!?!’In my eyes, there is a fire… a burning inferno that yearns to be… to set this world off! A passion to make light out of darkness. It is slowly getting dimmer everyday. Will it ever die out? I doubt it, but it is definitely getting dimmer. As I said yesterday, I see the world as they pass by and I ask myself, will everyone just be quiet for ONE MINUTE!!! Stop talking! Quit blaming each other! Give each other a chance. Reach across the table. Please! Please? Maybe someone like me could have a crack at bat? Cause I got nowhere else to go… That is how low it is…

As some of you know, I live with Heather. By not working, as a dark complexioned man (I am Puerto Rican/African American) and living with a light skinned woman who has a job… this is what runs through my mind…. Ready… in 3… 2… 1…

HERE’S ANOTHER TYPICAL NIGGER JUST TAKING FROM A WHITE GIRL WHO WORKS WHILE HE SITS ON HIS ASS ALL DAY PLAYING MADDEN! OH, AND I BET HE HAS KIDS BY A WHITE GIRL TOO! WAIT!! HE DOES!! PRICELESS!!! HE PROBABLY DOESN’T PAY CHILD SUPPORT EITHER HUH? NOPE? HAHA!!! THERE IT IS?!?!?! A DAMN TRIFECTA OF LOSER RIGHT THERE!!!!

Now, for those of you who don’t know… I get up at 0515 Monday through Friday to go get my kids so that Lynn (the mother of my two kids) can go to work for 7. I make them breakfast, get them off for school and all that. I do a lot. I was splitting everything down the middle until I lost unemployment. Still, without a job, I am that stereotype. Talk about pressure. All these thoughts are on my mind every… single… day. Without fail. How’s your day? Leave a comment or thought.

Here is… what it isn’t…

It’s been exactly… well, since 2010 since I wrote in this blog. I’ve been extremely busy. I have lots to tell. Many things have happened since then… LOTS. Let me start off with this. The title of my blog.

My Life With Epilepsy, God, And Football…

Catchy title isn’t it?? Well, the ‘episodes’ are pretty much non-existent now. I’m on 100mg of Topamax 2x/day and that is controlling my migraines pretty well. I’ve also given up smoking. Big weight (and cost) off of my shoulders that I wish I never even got started on in the first place. Sometimes, I still feel light headed, but I manage to maneuver through the day and make it just fine. I find myself getting angry though about where my life is at this point. I may start to ramble at this juncture so bear with me for a few…

I no longer attend any church nor am I even Baptist. I renounce my affiliation to the Baptist faith period. It’s sometimes the people in positions of power who make religion poisonous to the masses. Jesus came to this Earth to save us from ourselves. It’s far too tempting to man to use his authority to mistake for His authority. Understand? It happens all the time. Jesus was trying to teach us to let Him lead and us follow and to be the clay and let Him be the potter. I understand that’s a hard sell to the masses. When man tries to lead others, sometimes he wants to take direction from God (as he should) but his direction gets infused with his own inflection. I’ve seen this happen too many times and I’m all set. God is the one who directs my flow… my vision. I’m not by any means a prophet, a visionary, or anything of the sort… I will say this… there is no way I will set foot into a church again until God tells me to do so. I would probably go the way of Martin Luther and start my own religion before I set foot in another church. He commanded me to leave the last one because of the things that were happening there, and I won’t return to a church till such appointed time as He directs me to. I’ve talked with so many people and come to find out, so many people have put religion behind them because of the same issue. Gossip, backstabbing, poor leadership, misdirection, a slight of hand… God will guide His hand over His house and clean it. He always wins over mans’ passion of power. Every time. With that being said, I am a journeyman of faith… God directs my faith… a believer in the faith that Jesus died for my sins. I don’t need a label other than that. I don’t belong to a church nor a faith other than that. I once said what we do as believers can be someone elses salvation or damnation, hence why I have never become a deacon or a pastor. I think that all churches should adopt that same idea. In all my years, I’ve seen this same thing. So has everyone else I have talked to. God said there would be false prophets… there have been in His house for a long time. Maybe some aren’t, but they need to take a look at themselves and realize they cannot be Jesus. The message is clear… There is but ONE shepherd, Jesus. He is the perfect one. We all fall short. No man is above judgment so don’t stand and judge others; If they should, they need to pray for themselves cause at that moment they are being judged. With that… enough about what was on religion and the past.

Basketball just finished up. I’m really excited about that. We finished with a record of just over .500. The kids really came together which is kind of surprising cause I know nothing about basketball. HAHA! Well, I know a little actually. I guess you can say that I really love spending time with kids and developing kids and watching them get better at sports and getting them to just believe. The verb ‘BELIEVE’ is a tough one to do. As an adult it is hard to do.

-Dictionary.com cites the definition of BELIEVE as:

1. to have confidence or faith in the truth of (a positive assertion, story, etc.); give credence to
2. to have a conviction that (a person or thing) is, has been, or will be engaged in a given action or involved in a given situation
3. to suppose or assume; understand

Now, as I looked this up I thought ‘confidence, conviction, or assume? Which one sounds better?’ When we are kids all we really do is just assume. We have no idea what is right or wrong. Everything we ever learn is told to us by people we don’t know other than our family or people who are thrust upon us and we are supposed to assume that these people know what the are talking about based on what their credentials are (teacher, coach, family status). Then, we gain/lose confidence from our actions in life as we move into our teens and find that whatever action we take from learned behavior, we will gain experience from those actions and believe whatever happens accordingly. As a young adult onward we gain insight and further convictions (or what we think are convictions) as to what reality is. Ready for the shocker? Belief, is a learned behavior. A few learned behaviors:

1. Black people are an inferior race
2. There is no God/Jesus/Holy Spirit
3. There IS God/Jesus/Holy Spirit
4. There is always time to say I’m sorry
5. You can never go home
6. People will never change
7. Women are inferior to men
8. You can’t ________

Shocked I threw number three in there huh? Not me? It is in fact a learned behavior, but I know in my heart that it’s true. It’s a belief. One MUST believe Jesus is there in order for Him to be there for you.

Matthew 10:33 (King James Version)
But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

There it is… it writing. You have to believe. Last one, number eight…. You can’t _____ If you think you can’t, then you are absolutely right. I have a hard time with that. I always find that in this economy, in this society, in this world we live in… it is hard to find ways to be able to say that YOU CAN. Everyone is so ticked off about their side not being able to be on the winning team that they bash that side because they aren’t on it. It makes it hard to even want to be on a side period. Sore losers is all I can say. Learned behaviors teach us to dislike the fact that if we aren’t on the winning team we are to chastise the winners to being (for all intents and purposes) winners. That makes no sense in context now does it?

Now back to the kids…

Teaching the kids to have confidence is hard. Hard to make them believe in themselves and more importantly, making sure that I can convince them that I know it too is hard. I believe in children more than I believe in adults most times. Adults most times are more bone headed than children. Children do things most times out of feeling. They do things they know they aren’t supposed to because they love the action of it. It’s up to the adult to teach them why they shouldn’t. Me and the team of coaches I selected, taught the ten kids I had how to shoot, pass, and dribble the ball up and down the court. Success is not measured by wins or losses, but by how one can assess how well the game was managed. I believed all of our games were managed quite well.

I’ve learned a valulable lesson about my medication. DON’T STOP TAKING IT!!!! I stopped taking my TOPAMAX (100mg 2x/day) because I thought I couldn’t afford it (my unemployment ran out ON MY BIRTHDAY! After a few days, I started to get really angry. Wait, VERY angry. I couldn’t deal with anyone. I was constantly getting mad at everyone for anything. I was at Defcon 5 at all times. Those that know me would tell you… this is not normal. I just figured that lack of a job was getting to me. It took Lynn telling me that suddenly stopping my meds had a side effect… sudden anger issues. She looked it up online. I was unaware of that. At least now I have 3 months of meds and don’t have to worry about not having them for that long.

I now have no money coming in, no insurance, no nothing. I’ve applied for over forty jobs and gotten called by Primerica (PFFT!) and AFLAC (PFFT! TIMES TWO!!!!) Really???? I used to work for Verizon Wireless where I made over sixty thousand dollars a year and I busted my ass by going wherever they asked me to doing whatever they asked me to sacrificing my family, relationships, my life, and self worth. Loyal to the very end and it took no time for the “Evil Empire” to toss me to the wolves. Course, I did stay on unemployment for two years on their dime and coached three teams, got a semester of college in, upgraded my car, and learned a lot about religion, played one hell of a season of semi-pro football, made co-captain on that team, and learned a lot about being a father in that time…. Guess I can’t be that mad.

My birthday was on 1February. I turned 32. By FAR AND AWAY…. THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER IN MY LIFE!!!!!!! I had been off my meds for about four days (so needless to say, I woke up mad), I got very little sleep (so I was tired), and… we were going to have a horrendous snow storm… in fact (as it was stated) one that would affect over one hundred million people. Yup, I was mad to say the least. The events of the day were uneventful and lonely ones. Reflective at best. I kept asking myself… ‘How did I get here? Ugh! Everything I am up until this point is wrong and I know it. I am not where I want to be.’ I couldn’t shake that thought. That day, I lost my unemployment (which meant no money coming in anymore), my father totally forgot to call me and wish me a happy birthday, and I just really was feeling all alone even though other people did wish me a happy birthday. I just wanted to get out of my skin. I didn’t want to be me anymore. In fact, I kind of still don’t. Ever since, each day has been off…

FOOTBALL…

I will be playing for the Gardner Sabercats this year and I am very happy that I have found a home with this team. It was started by a great friend of mine who I have shared the field with for years. Some would say that I am crazy for going back on the field after the scare I had earlier this year… I say… since I had that scare life is far too short.

OH, THE GOAL… NOT A RESOLUTION!!!

How is it coming? It is coming fantastic!!! Fifty three days in and not a failed day yet. If you have forgotten, the goal is this… to tell whoever how I feel if asked. That’s it. Or if I feel a certain way about something someone does or says… I just say it without filter. To be honest, it has cost me some… but nothing I can’t handle. I would challenge anyone to try this goal. I’ll write more tomorrow. Oh yeah… word count. 2011.